ГАЛСТУК (Из книги «ДОЖДИ»)

Что такое галстук?

Это повязка на шее.

С моей точки зрения,

Абсолютно бесполезная вещь.

Я его затягиваю на вые еле-еле,

Чтоб на сторону каждый раз не лез.

Иногда я протираю галстуком очки,

В случае, если они запотеют,

Получая за это в бок толчки:

Дамы не выносят подобные фортели.

Сморкаться я в галстук не сморкался,

Но руки об него вытирал,

Чтоб зря на шее не болтался

И полезность свою знал.

В драке галстук тоже хорош,

Удобно за него хвататься.

Подтянешь к себе неприятеля

И чувствуешь дрожь,

Которая обозначает – пора сдаваться.

Правда, есть о галстуке и другое мнение:

Отдадим, мол, дань древнему обычаю.

Разрешите высказать решительное сомнение:

Не лучше ли ломать дурацкие традиции?

Кто-то когда-то нацепил на шею повязку,

Чтобы прикрыть, вероятно, верхнюю пуговицу рубашки,

И стал рассказывать сказку

В самых ярких красках,

Как красива эта штукенция

На вашем теле.

И вы уже обалдели.

Появились такие понятия, как престиж и мода,

Полезные для всех вроде.

Заработали дизайнеры,

Но они были не крайними.

Нынче у галстуков есть адвокаты.

На этот предмет работают фабрики и мастерские.

Вот такие галстук совершил в обществе сдвиги.

Если ты даже не хочешь носить петлю на шее,

В нее насильно твою голову вденут.

 

На день рождения мне подарили фирменный галстук

С золотым зажимом.

Я не сопротивлялся.

Я сдался.

 

Нынче галстуки живут своей жизнью.

Да, они своенравны и капризны,

Предмет их вожделения – человек,

Который повязан с ними навек.

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