Что такое галстук?
Это повязка на шее.
С моей точки зрения,
Абсолютно бесполезная вещь.
Я его затягиваю на вые еле-еле,
Чтоб на сторону каждый раз не лез.
Иногда я протираю галстуком очки,
В случае, если они запотеют,
Получая за это в бок толчки:
Дамы не выносят подобные фортели.
Сморкаться я в галстук не сморкался,
Но руки об него вытирал,
Чтоб зря на шее не болтался
И полезность свою знал.
В драке галстук тоже хорош,
Удобно за него хвататься.
Подтянешь к себе неприятеля
И чувствуешь дрожь,
Которая обозначает – пора сдаваться.
Правда, есть о галстуке и другое мнение:
Отдадим, мол, дань древнему обычаю.
Разрешите высказать решительное сомнение:
Не лучше ли ломать дурацкие традиции?
Кто-то когда-то нацепил на шею повязку,
Чтобы прикрыть, вероятно, верхнюю пуговицу рубашки,
И стал рассказывать сказку
В самых ярких красках,
Как красива эта штукенция
На вашем теле.
И вы уже обалдели.
Появились такие понятия, как престиж и мода,
Полезные для всех вроде.
Заработали дизайнеры,
Но они были не крайними.
Нынче у галстуков есть адвокаты.
На этот предмет работают фабрики и мастерские.
Вот такие галстук совершил в обществе сдвиги.
Если ты даже не хочешь носить петлю на шее,
В нее насильно твою голову вденут.
На день рождения мне подарили фирменный галстук
С золотым зажимом.
Я не сопротивлялся.
Я сдался.
Нынче галстуки живут своей жизнью.
Да, они своенравны и капризны,
Предмет их вожделения – человек,
Который повязан с ними навек.
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