БОСХ (Из книги «ДОЖДИ»)

Монах Хосе де Сигуенса: «Разница между работами этого человека и работами других художников заключается в том, что другие стараются изобразить людей такими, какие они есть снаружи. Босху же хватает мужества изобразить их такими, какими они есть изнутри».

БОСХ

Этот странный художник Босх.

Я слышу свист плетки: хлест, хлест!

«Вот твой портрет.

Не снаружи, а изнутри.

Не нравится? Не смотри».

«Какая ерунда! – говорю я. -

Так это ж, извините, свинья!»

«Может быть. Не знаю, -

говорит Босх, -

У вас левая сторона такая».

Хлест, хлест!

 

Я как-то забрел в Хертогенбос,

Чтобы задать Босху вопрос:

«Для чего вы выворачиваете людей наизнанку?»

Он мне ответил как-то странно, видно, спозаранку:

«Как на дыбы

надо бы».

 

«Изнутри, изнутри я какой?»

«Закажи Босху свой портрет.

Пусть он вывернет тебя наизнанку,

Снимет с тебя маску.

И все увидят, что ты не ангел, а черт».

 

Я зову тебя своим святым.

Ты не святой, увы.

Это я знала давно,

Но закрывала глаза.

 

Твои рожки, спрятанные в рыжей шевелюре,

Иногда щекотали мою шею,

И мне было приятно.

Какая разница, думала я, кто меня ласкает -

Ангел или черт?

Путь будет черт, если ангелы перевелись.

Ведь и черт – ангел,

Только падший.

Он склонил голову на мою грудь

И сказал: «Забудь, забудь!

Какая разница, кто я?

В чувствах к тебе – правда моя.

Тебе со мной хорошо?

Что еще?»

 

Я люблю не живую женщину,

Я люблю ее образ живой.

 

Ты лишь любишь мое понятие,

А не меня самого.

Ты лишь любишь мое распятие.

Непонятно только за что.

 

Мы жили всегда в разлуке,

Держа свою память в напряжении,

Встречались порой ради скуки

И расходились без всякого сожаления.

Но что-то держало нас вместе.

Что? Этого никто не знал.

В далеком, далеком соседстве

Воздвиг кто-то наш пьедестал.

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