ЧЕЛОВЕК НА ПРИЕМЕ У ХИРУРГА ПО ПЛАСТИЧЕСКИМ ОПЕРАЦИЯМ (Из книги «ДОЖДИ»)

О, если б посохом решались все дела!
Удар о землю. И твоя взяла.
А если посохом по голове?
Тогда бы было интереснее вдвойне.
Говорят, к сотрясению мозгов
Наш братишка всегда был готов
И к пластической операции своих извилин
Он всегда авомобилен.
Мозжечок поскребите, пожалуйста,
Чтобы было во мне больше радости.
И в правом полушарии скособочилась картинка,
Достает меня в похмелюге эта половинка.
С задним умом у меня, доктор, проблема,
Здесь стоит такая дилемма:
Укорачивать его или удлинять?
Эта штукенция стала линять,
Выходить из строя,
Дает идеи не того покроя.
Может, его под корень,
Чтобы со всеми был вровень?
На полустанке гипоталамуса – пробка,
Здесь может помочь водочки стопка,
И все ж ковырните в этом узле,
Чтобы держать товарища в узде.
Да, и прошу, не заденьте гипофиз,
Того, что в турецком седле.
Это тот еще «шиз»,
Нервный до ужаса.
Вокруг него всякая дрянь кружится.
Его надо беречь
Может, даже стеречь,
Чтобы не было тяжких последствий.
Они могут случиться вследствие
Плохого отношения с этим червячком.
Держитесь к нему бочком,
Мотайте от него на острова Лангерганса -
Это независимое от гипофиза государство,
Там налажено производство инсулина,
Хватит на всех этого гормолина.
Правда, у диабетиков на островах
Дела идут – швах:
Не работает инсулиновый аппарат.
Вот так-то, любезный брат.
Ах, извини, доктор, я заболтался.
Может, без операции обойдемся?
Посохом на башке вдарим,
Мозги в котелке тряхнем -
И все будет.

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