Не люблю я –
Да, да, да!
Не люблю большие города.
Я бывал в Москве, в Питере, в Париже, в Нью-Йорке.
Лежал с мохнатыми тараканами в одной койке.
Они гордились, что американцы.
Нет, ребята, вы просто засранцы.
Говорят, что их под землей миллиарды,
Бродят по водосточным трубам банды.
Спустил я в воду чудовище в туалете
На одного стало меньше в тараканьем балете.
Не люблю я -
Да, да, да! -
Не люблю большие города.
В Москве я расстреливал крыс.
Она хвать приманку, а я – подавись!
И все же я проиграл бой:
Они в мою квартиру ходили, как домой.
В Москве живут миллиарды этих тварей.
Человек для них дичь в приправе.
Не люблю я -
Да, да, да! -
Не люблю большие города.
В Питере в моем доме жили комары.
Что им не жилось в болотах той поры?
По ночам они пили кровь из меня,
Хотя вокруг струилась из труб вода.
Я с комарами и так, и сяк,
Сотнями убивал о косяк,
А они все свое: жжу, да жжу -
Мол, я вам, человек, еще покажу!
И показали. Удрал я от них,
Чтобы написать этот грустный стих.
Не люблю я -
Да, да, да! -
Не люблю я большие города.
И дело даже не в этих тварях.
Я вошел в метро. Весь народ читает -
Кто газеты, кто журналы, кто рекламу.
Я спросил стоящую рядом даму,
Долго ли вот так читать?
Она в ответ: «Да минут сорок пять,
И еще сорок пять на автобусе -
И уже нет зацепок на глобусе,
Где остановка, где мой дом.
Вся жизнь в дороге. Сплошной дурдом».
Не люблю я -
Да, да, да! -
Не люблю большие города.
Но вот что интересно, спроси у москвича.
Он скажет: лучший город, конечно же, Москва.
И в Питере услышишь повсюду и везде
Что самый лучший город, конечно ж, на Неве.
Я ж Таллинн называю чудесным уголком:
В нем жизнь моя, и мама, в нем мой родимый дом.
Не люблю я -
Да, да, да! -
Не люблю большие города.
Из Мехико пришла грустная весть:
В городе нечего пить и есть.
В столице 25 миллионов людей -
Как напоить такую ораву теперь?
Ни моря, ни озера, ни рек вокруг,
Сохнут губы, дай выпить, друг!
Нет, город большой – большая беда.
Я бы уехал от вас навсегда,
Чтобы расплавленный суховей
Жаждой не мучил несчастных людей.
Не люблю я -
Да, да, да! -
Не люблю большие города.
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