Я говорю без бахвальства:
Не любило меня начальство.
Например, в Береговой Обороне,
Где я три года исправно служил,
Все мои друзья получили лычки,
Мне же подразумевались лишь кавычки.
Правда, я был не из лучших служак,
Ходил в самоволку, – а это бардак, -
Двадцать пять дней на гауптвахте отсидел,
И это был не предел.
Мог бы и в штрафную роту загреметь,
Вот тогда бы пришлось блатные песни довольно долго петь.
Так, кстати, случилось с моим другом Валей Мартемьяновым -
Он в драке сержанта побил,
Маршал Жуков этого ему не простил.
Он в то время был министром обороны
И ревностно охранял коммунистические троны.
Начальство, каким бы маленьким оно ни было, бить нельзя,
Это давно всем знать пора.
Выходит, я тщеславен, раз о лычке затосковал.
Да, я тщеславен, и этим славен.
Я славен тем, что в тайне от начальства
Без всякого бахвальства
Учился в заочной школе и закончил ее исправно,
Продолжая в то же время служить, правда, не очень рьяно.
За что же такого проходимца лычками награждать?
Только и оставалось, как арестантское время на катушку мотать.
Взамен золотой полоски на погонах я получил Аттестат зрелости
И табель успеваемости с одними пятерками для вящей верности.
До истинной зрелости, конечно, было еще далеко,
На эту зрелость куча времени еще ушло.
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