Настроение (Из книги «ДРУГИЕ»)

1.
Сдулся я. Во мне угасла ясность.
И ретивость трезвого ума.
Эта моя жгучая опасность.
Я иду, неведома куда.
Мой спокойный мир угас в болоте.
Ноги вязнут в дюнах черных туч.
Ноты вы не те, певцы, берете,
Когда давит горло бывший луч
Бывший луч угасшего реликта.
Что же делать, что же делать мне?
Я не получал еще вердикта
Уходить фантомом на заре.

Утро. На часах еще четыре.
Может, час, другой еще посплю.
Исполнять загробные мотивы
Мне сегодня как-то ни к чему.

2.
Трудно человеку быть хорошим,
И плохим быть тоже нелегко.
Что же в этой жизни всех дороже?
Может, третьим быть мне суждено?
Не пойми меня, мой друг, превратно.
Это и ребенку все понятно.
Лавры божьей птички не для нас.
Духом я могу лишь взять Парнас.
Только на Парнасе слишком тесно,
Третий лишний, в этом вся беда.
Растворяй, дружище, ворота
Тем, кто хочет жить сегодня честно.
Хорошо иль плохо честным быть?
Я не знаю, что здесь говорить.

3.
«Запах пьяных слез» отрезвил меня.
Выпил я духи с раннего утра.
Вешняя капель
просто дребедень.
Мне б бутыль еще,
Вот тогда б пошло.

4.
На море буря – не угроза смерти.
Настроение у моря сегодня такое:
Кто-то вывел водицу из состояния покоя,
Кто-то достал стихию, нервы потрепал,
Вот и бесится пучина, крушит всех наповал.

Моря не надо бояться:
Пошумит и успокоится,
Само в себя зароется.
И наступить тишь и благодать.
Чего еще желать?

5.
Ах, подвиги! Как я от вас устал!
Ах, слава вечная! Зачем она тебе!?
Нетленность утомляет ум и чувства.
И мне становится порою грустно
От подвигов, несущих смерть и смрад.
Нет, славе я совсем не рад.
Она – дань честолюбию и искушение власти,
Она лишь утомляет страсти…

6.
А тайны нет. Все примитивно.
Все плоско, вяло и наивно.
О чем поведать я могу,
Когда туда-сюда сную?
Да ни о чем.
Вон та стена меня до стресса довела,
Она секрет мой охраняет
И жизнь по капле отнимает.
А тайны нет. Все примитивно.
Все плоско, вяло и наивно.

7.
Я не знаю, где счастье украсть бы.
Вот, казалось бы, близко оно…
Горсть друзей я рассыпал в ненастье.
Средь живых уже нет никого.

8.
А не все ли, не все ли равно?
Мусор, свалка, останки в земле…
Подметите меня. Я давно
Уж летаю в глухой тишине.
Дух мой в небе. Ему хорошо.
В звездном небе играют огни.
Эх, куда бы податься еще,
Воплощая земные мечты.

Хочу быть газом.
И сразу, сразу
Сожги меня.
Я не хочу в земле валяться
До судного дня.

Sursum corda.
Ja mittu korda.
Возвысь себя,
Возвысь свое сердце!
Возвысь свое сердце!
На благо добра.

9.
Я приготовил вкусное блюдо
Из требухи пространства.
Поставьте на стол вон ту посуду
В самом красивом убранстве.
Трапеза будет великолепной.
Слава Иисусу!
Ах, какой запах ядреный и терпкий!
Он мне по вкусу.
Мне же, пожалуйста, две поварешки,
Соус отменный!
Да, и покруче звездной окрошки
С луком Вселенной.
Время пускай подождет немного,
Жизнь мне не к спеху.
Лучше я выпью стаканчик грогу
Вам на потеху

10.
Жив курилка – жив, жив!
Пламя лучинки – жизни мотив.
Я не люблю, когда гаснет пламя.
Пламя – это мое знамя!

11.
Я дурака валяю
В перьях и песке.
Я в облаках витаю
На лодочном весле.
Мне весело и скучно,
Мне хочется рыдать.
Готов я не поштучно
Стихи всем раздавать.

12.
Я не буду тревожить раны,
Я не стану тревожить боль.
Все мне нынче по барабану,
Нынче я сам себе король.
Только подданных кот наплакал,
Не рыдают нынче коты.
На моих королевских зарплатах
Не дожить мне до седины.
Я не Лир, отлученный от трона,
Мне оплакивать смерть не к лицу.
Что-то жмет мне в висках корона.
Бог с ней. Эй, там, зажгите свечу
И воздайте надежду на завтра,
Может, завтра придет другим.
Это очень даже азартно -
Ждать того, чего мы хотим.
А хотим мы совсем немного:
Не стреляйте в своих королей,
Не судите их слишком строго.
За убитых в бою сыновей.

13.
Чего еще желать? Ах, сытые вопросы!
Уж пройдены вчера житейские торосы,
Пора и на покой, да скучно на диване.
Тоскливое лицо разглядывает в раме
Портрет. «Не мой ли лик?»
Уж больно этот парень под старость лет поник.
Взгляд тусклый, под глазами набухшие мешки.
Вокруг толпа. Я слышу ехидные смешки:
«Эй, Брюхо, как здоровье? Пойдем в любовь играть».
Не хочется мне что-то. Чего еще желать?

14.
Во мне слишком много здравого смысла,
Что убивает меня.
Да, есть в моей голове коромысло
Для равновесия.
Но что с того толку?
В двух ведрах нештатных
Плескается студень ума.
Увы, не мастак я в подвигах ратных,
В заплатах, увы, и сума,
Сума моих доводов и убеждений -
Я все по пути растерял.
Растут без меня куда-то растенья…
Наверно, на лесоповал.

15.
Состояние погоды неблагополучное,
Сотрясают небосводы молнии кипучие.
В моей жизни непогоды иногда случаются -
Ссоры в доме населенья славно получаются.
Пламень спички-непоседы разбудил стихию.
Гром глаголет: я к вам еду, едет ваш мессия.

16.
Мы все немножечко пловцы.
Плывем куда-то нараспашку,
Вселенским бурям вопреки,
Творя немыслимую сказку.
Мы кролем измеряем море,
Сквозь волны всматриваясь вдаль.
Какая ждет нас там неволя ?
И ждет ли в небе пьедестал?
Пловец громадный и кипучий,
Швыряет в море грудь свою
Желанный берег, ветер жгучий.
Эх, дай-ка песню я спою
Борцу. Но что-то вянут мышцы,
И руки в брасс уже ушли.
Дыханье сбито. Тише, тише…
Я вижу утлый челн вдали.
Его уносят в море волны,
Стихия празднует свой час.
Трещат по швам златые троны.
Цари сегодня не про нас.

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