У МЕНЯ ПЕРТУРБАЦИЯ (Из книги «ДОЖДИ»)

У меня – пертурбация:

Меняю одни условные рефлексы на другие.

И, прошу, не надо оваций.

Мои поступки, хотя и лихие,

не стоят колебаний атмосферы

С помощью рук и ног.

Действия рождены верой,

Что я еще неплох,

ЧТо у меня все впереди.

А раз так,

Дурные привычки уже не с руки.

Короче, долой бардак!

С утра я решил делать зарядку,

Которую не делал тысячу лет,

Чтобы мышцы тела были в порядке

И со здоровьем чтоб не было бед.

Выглянул в окно. На дворе – дождь.

Кто же в такую погоду выходит, кто ж?

Пришлось отложить зарядку до лучших времен,

С движением мышц малость подождем.

И все же совесть меня замучила:

Взялся за гуж – не говори, что не дюж.

Если честно, до этого случая

Я каждый день принимал душ.

Этим я себя успокоил

(Главное – найти оправдание).

Свою лень я в линейку построил,

Выдав наряд в наказание.

Наряд на кухню, мыть посуду,

А ее на кухне – гора:

Вчера были гости. Тарелок груду

Пришлось мне мыть до утра.

Ну ладно, зарядку я когда-нибудь осилю,

Поговорю с глазу на глаз с Силой Воли,

Скажу, если хочешь мне вырыть могилу,

Не натри в усердии себе мозоли.

Что такое лень? Ответь мне, кстати,

Что сопротивляется в тебе?

Я как-то мозги свои перелопатил,

Нынче они у меня в неглиже

Выходят наружу, как на пляж нудисты.

(Послушаешь – о боже, что язык плетет?!)

Они теперь у меня пофигисты,

Знают, сегодня им все с рук сойдет.

И все же я не знаю истоков этой болезни,

Зачем свои страсти куда-то гнать?

Слезть бы с этой лошадки, слезть бы,

Которая не хочет никуда скакать.

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